Travis hasn’t spoken to Danielle in days.
He didn’t want to interrupt her.

1

10.

       Why don't
scientists trust
atoms anymore?
Because they make
up everything!

2.

3. Danielle and Travis have such a
wonderful relationship. He always knows what she’s
thinking because she always tells him. She always knows
what he’s thinking because she tells him that too.

           How do you
            know that
Google is male?
Because it thinks
it always knows
the answer.

5. Danielle wants to
talk to me about my childish
behavior. Well, she may want
that all she likes, but she’s not
getting inside my pillow castle
without a password!

6. If Travis speaks in the forest,
and Danielle isn’t there
to hear him... Is he still wrong?

4.

7. How do you know
that Google is female?
Because it never
lets you finish your
sentence before
making a suggestion.

8. Travis tried to have
a conversation with
Danielle while she was
putting on her mud mask.
You should’ve seen the dirty
look she gave him.

9. Why do women use twice as many
words as men? Because they
always have to repeat themselves.

When Travis first started dating Danielle,
she asked him what some of his dreams were.
He told her one was about a T. rex who didn't
get a job because he couldn't tie a tie. She meant goals.

11. Why does a rooster
crow so early in the
morning? He wants to
get a word in before
all the hens wake up.

12. Travis asked Danielle to rate his listening skills.
She said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.” He still doesn’t know
why she wanted him to urinate on a skeleton.

13.

Danielle: Can you
please put ketchup
on your shopping list?
Travis: I’ve done it
but it makes it hard to read.

                   After 65 years of marriage, our
                   neighbor still calls his wife sweetheart.
So we asked him what the secret is. He said,
“I forgot her name and I'm afraid to ask.”

14.

15. If we're reading
their lips correctly...
Our neighbors are talking
about some creepy couple
next door.

16. Travis and Danielle
always fight over the right way
to hang a toilet paper roll.
So they agreed to try
each other’s way for a week.
You know... Roll reversal.

17. Interviewer: “Your résumé says you
take things too literally.” When the heck
did my resume learn to talk?!

18. Danielle asked Travis to go
get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. When he
got home, he realized he had picked 7 up.

19. Danielle told Travis
to take out the spider instead of killing it.
So he did. They had a few drinks. He’s
a pretty cool guy, works in web design.

20.

Travis was outvoted 1-1
by Danielle again.

21. The police came to our
house and asked where
I was between 3 and 5.
I said preschool.

I told

YOU

so!

22

Sometimes Travis’s sense of direction isn’t great.
Luckily, he always proves he’s Danielle’s Mr. Left.

23. While we might
not always agree,
it’s nice that at this
moment, we’re on
the same page.

Travis accidentally deleted
Danielle’s audiobook. Now he’ll
never hear the end of it.

24.

25. Never laugh
at your partner’s
choices. You’re
one of them.

26. Travis and Danielle often laugh about how
competitive they are. But Travis laughs more.

27. Danielle thought Travis was
behaving immaturely. So he told her to get out of his fort.

28. Danielle was furious
with Travis today. He put a
stick in a non-stick pan.

29. Danielle yelled at Travis, “You haven’t heard
a single word I’ve said, have you?” He thought that was
a strange way to start a conversation.

             I always prefer
the stairs, whereas you
always like to take the
elevator. I guess we
were raised differently.

30.

31. Travis told
Danielle she should
embrace her mistakes.
She gave him a hug.

32. Arguing with
your partner is a lot
like trying to read the
Terms of Use on the
internet. In the end,
you just give up and
go "I agree."

33. Danielle told Travis
to stop acting like a flamingo,
so he had to put his foot down.

34. If at first
you don’t succeed,
try doing it the way
Danielle told you.

35.  Why didn't the
skeleton argue
with his girlfriend
on Valentine's
Day? He didn’t
have the heart.

36. Danielle put on a new dress
and asked Travis to zip it.
He’s not sure what he did
wrong – he hadn’t said a word.

37.

Travis: I feel like you always
disagree with me. Danielle:
I don't always disagree with you.

38.

                Two grains had
                a disagreement.
In the end, it was just
a corny argument.

39. Travis plays the world's most
dangerous sport. He disagrees
with Danielle.

40. I love you more today
than I did yesterday. But
that’s because yesterday
I was really mad at you.

41. Danielle and Travis have
agreed to never go to bed angry with each other.
So far, they’ve been up for three days.

                Danielle came home to find Travis
had been on eBay all day. If he’s still there tomorrow,
she’ll lower the price.

42.

43. 

Danielle and Travis
share responsibilities.
He orders the dessert, and she eats it.

44. Danielle and Travis believe
in sharing in their relationship.
He shares the problems, and she
shares the solutions!

            I donated 4 liters of blood today.
Never doing it again. They ask way too
many questions. Whose blood is this?
Where did you get it? Why do you have it?

45.

46.We’ve been grilling a chicken for hours,
yet still have no idea why it crossed the road.

47. Travis bought Danielle
a beautiful slinky dress. She looks amazing
going down the stairs.

48. What do you call
cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

49. Why did the cookie
cry? ’Cause his father was
a wafer so long.

50. Danielle knows she can always count
on Travis to share some candy. He always
has a few Twix up his sleeve.

51. One can never go too far
in sharing the benefits of
eating dried grapes. It’s all
about raisin awareness.

52. I ate a kid's meal
at McDonald's today.
His mom got
pretty upset
about it.

53. Danielle told Travis
they should share more. Now they have
joint custody of the remote control.

54. A happy relationship is
not just finishing each other’s
sentences but also finishing
each other’s leftovers.

55.

Danielle said, "That's the
4th time you've gone back
for dessert. Doesn't it embarrass
you?” Travis said, "No,
I keep telling them it's for you."

56. Travis told Danielle
that her underwear was much too tight and
revealing, so she told him to wear his own.

  57. The perks of a happy
relationship is knowing your
partner’s Netflix password.

58.

Danielle shared her
thesaurus with Travis.
He was very happy, but also elated,
ecstatic, and overjoyed.

59. You know you
have found the one
when they’re fine
with you eating
their French fries
without asking.

60. It’s a good thing we don’t have
to hunt for our own food – we have
no idea where sandwiches live.

61.

            Don’t ever expect to
share anything with a clam –
those guys are so shellfish.

62. Travis decided not to share
a pizza joke with Danielle.
She would think it’s too cheesy.

63. Guess what's on the menu? Me-n-u.