· 2 minute read
The best Christmas jokes to tell your kids
‘Tis the season for jollification! So fill those cold December evenings with giggles galore and make your children excited without having to put on the Santa outfit. Here’s a selection of the funniest and silliest Xmas jokes to make your family have a merry little Christmas now.
What did Santa say at the start of the race?
Ready, set, ho ho ho!
Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal’s office?
Rude-olf.
What is a cow’s favourite holiday?
Moo-years Day.
How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
Chick to chick.
What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?
A pine-apple!
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.
What is a Christmas tree’s favourite candy?
Orna-mints.
What’s another name for Santa’s Little Helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut, who?
Donut open the presents until Christmas!
What falls but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
Because it makes a good stocking filler.
What kind of music do elves like best?
Wrap music.
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
What did one snowman say another snowman?
You’re cool.
What does an elf study in school?
The elfabet.
What do elves do after school?
Their gnome work.
What did one Christmas tree say to another?
Lighten up!
What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws!
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish!
Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
What is every parent’s favourite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
What do you get when Santa plays detective?
Santa clues!
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