Becoming a parent sure is a magical thing. But it’s also very hard, and yet no one talks about that. That’s where our new book The Diary of Silas comes in – it tells new parents what it’s really like to have a baby. No filters. Here are a few things I wish I’d known before I became a mom.
1. Privacy?! Ha, that’s a good one
You will never ever pee alone again. The second that baby is able to move, they follow you to the bathroom every single time. So get used to having an audience! My fan club is a 1-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a dog.
2. Cars remain a mystery
Some babies REALLY don’t like cars. Like ‘I’ll scream as if you’re chopping my limbs off until you get me out of this thing’ don’t like cars. But then, some babies like to sleep in the car. I’ve heard. Both my kids used to scream in the car – whether the trip lasted 5 minutes or an hour.
3. Game-changing products
If you manage to get 10 minutes for yourself to get ready – lucky you. Otherwise, dry shampoo is the best invention ever. Just sayin’.
4. Livin’ the poop life
Your life and most of the conversations with your partner revolve around poop. Yes, babies poop A LOT. How is it humanly possible for such a tiny creature to produce so much poop? I mean, how can anyone poop every 2 hours? Oh, except when they don’t poop, because they can also not poop for up to 14 days, and that’s somehow OK too. But when they do… Oh boy.
5. Toys that are not really toys are the best!
Don’t bother buying toys because you already own the only two things babies are interested in: your phone and the TV remote. Well, those and anything of value and/or anything else they just really shouldn’t be playing with.
6. No, you can’t pet its head
Babies are public property. At least according to just about everyone you see outside and have never met before. They all want to pinch those cheeks and pat those heads. Keep your germs to yourself, thank you very much!
7. Suddenly everyone knows what’s best for your baby
Speaking of keeping things to yourself: unsolicited advice. These same people think they know your baby better than you do. Friends and family, too. Of course they do, they’ve spent like what, 15 minutes with your baby? How could you possibly know better what your baby needs, you only spend 24/7 with them?
8. An extra set of hands never hurt
Babies demand a lot of your attention. And I mean A LOT. There’s no time for things like cooking and cleaning up. So round up a team of helpers. Get your family and friends to come to clean your house and cook you lunch. That’ll be way more useful than another baby toy or a baby onesie.
9. Babies are secretly timing everything you do
Having a baby can feel like there’s a ticking time bomb around your neck. Everything you do has a time limit before the baby starts fussing and needing your attention again. But you get pretty good knowing these time limits and respecting them. Because if you don’t, all hell breaks loose.
10. You just can’t help yourself but love them
Babies are hard. We all struggle. Maybe not with the same aspects of parenting, but we all struggle with something. The struggles my husband and I went through inspired a whole book, The Diary of Silas! And despite that, you’ll love that little troublemaker more than you can ever imagine. They’re just too darn cute.
– Nastja (mom of 2 and co-author of our new book)